


And Almost Alright, Anyway

by Marta_Ayanami (orphan_account)



Series: The Four Loves [2]
Category: Gundam SEED
Genre: F/M, I do however ship Flay and Sai mainly for Flay's sake, I do not; absolutely do not; ship Flay and Kira; just FYI and for warning, edit: only watched till ep 22 so far, headcanons galore, idk - Freeform, if you spoil me I will sicc a Mitsunari at you ;), just FYI, was originally a oneshot but didn't want to stay one, will maybe be jossed by future eps
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-24
Updated: 2016-09-24
Packaged: 2018-08-17 00:50:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8124211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Marta_Ayanami
Summary: It will be alright, she had said. Childishly. Naively. Innocently. In her previous life.But it wasn't so. But it could still be, or so had Flay said to herself, and to the Coordinator of the empty promises, and to noone in particular. It could be alright, perhaps.Almost.





	

**And Almost Alright, Anyway**

**Part 1 of 2**

**If You're Angry, You Cannot Possibly Be Sad... Can You??**

 

_It’s alright. Even though it’s not a pretty doll like I hoped._

_Father thinked it special, so he gived it me, so it’s alright. Not very pretty, but alright._

That was what a very little pink-haired girl thought about a certain gift, after she’s already used whole ten minutes up on crying about the toy spaceship not being a beautiful doll. Crying about her father’s lack of sense and appreciation for pretty dolls.

 

**************

 

_It was alright._

His body so warm against hers, it felt almost as if she was sleeping with a human being, after all.

Almost. Because this boy was anything but.

Almost.

 

*******

 

Who did he think he was, anyway? Their engagement was arranged. She didn’t mind their engagement, or rather, hadn’t minded it.

But it was time to cut it. And she held no regrets about this - _all my regrets are elsewhere, there are none left_ – when she told him to his face that—

No regrets whatsoever.

Almost.

 

*******

Of course she had to prepare. Her father would be here soon, she would finally meet him again, after this hellish voyage!

So she would prepare. After all, she was beautiful and she knew it. And as her father’s daughter, she would hold herself with grace when seeing him again, so that he wouldn’t know how much this whole sudden war and refugee situation exhausted her. How much sleep it stole from her.

Because her father knew that she wasn’t so weak as to let a single sudden outbreak of a war dim her spirit, and lessen her manners.

And she knew that, too.

With utter certainty.

And so, by the time her father would be here, by the time this late reunion (what did fate have against her??) would finally happen, she would look well-rested, calm, and most beautiful and graceful again.

She knew that with utter certainty.

 

****

 

The not-human boy’s body, in her bed, still felt so warm. But the reason she was concentrating on feeling it right now was to make sure of her resolve.

It was _not_ to help her tune out the droning of the one whom she was no longer engaged to. The one who pointlessly came and kept talking and talking, from behind the door, too ignorant to know of her revenge against the Coordinator in her bed. The revenge that was happening right now.

She’s tuned the human boy’s words out completely, anyway. And she wasn’t going to let herself cry anytime soon.

Almost.

 

*****

Why was she surprised that she was getting properly prepared for her father’s coming? How uncultured. And not to mention, utterly rude.

****

_Father thinked it special, so he gived it me, so it’s alright. Not very pretty, but alright._

Only a few years later did she learn that the toy spaceship wasn’t just a cheap toy. That it was actually a model. Of her father’s ship from a certain time.

She hadn’t suspected it, even though she had been given an ample clue.

 

******

“Please. Please, protect my father!”

_If you protect him, I’ll even forgive you for not being a human being. For being a Coordinator._

_If you protect him, I’ll even treat you as if you were a Natural. As if you were human. As if you were one of us._

_I promise you that, on my father’s life._

“I--”

 

_If you don’t protect dad, my dad, I promise I--- I---_

_I will--- somehow--- destroy your everything, whatever it is, in you or outside of you, if you don’t protect dad. I promise!!_

“—will,”

 

He said and then added, “

 

****

 

“Don’t worry. Because Kira will protect us.”

_What an infuriating little girl. So much_

_So much like her past self._

_Let her die. She deserves it. If she dies, I’ll be---- glad!_

_After all, if she were to die, wouldn’t it devastate_ him? _And so, that would make me so happy I could---_

Almost.

******

 

It was nice to see him go and on about things that interested him, even if they didn’t always interest her. When they first met, she thought him boring, but with time she’s learned he was anything but.

Well, maybe sometimes. He could be a bit too boring and too quiet sometimes. And at first glance, he was certainly nothing spectacular – unlike herself.

Then again, walls weren’t much to look at, either, but they could be comforting – to lean on, in moments of exhaustion, or distress, or...

Or when she was just plain tired.

Almost.

_____________

Because she couldn’t be tired. Not now. Not when she had to avenge her father, and anyway –

There were no trees here for him to climb.

For

Sai

_________

“Pardon?”

“That’s my name.”

“I didn’t asked!” the little girl huffed, turning away.

It was a year before the tree. The tree, it was perhaps the tree that changed the way she looked at him. At this Sai.

Almost.

____

_“Don’t cry. Look, your Dollie’s here, I got it back.”_

Yes, it had to be the tree.

Back then, she sobbed.

____

But why didn’t he enter the bedroom?

If he did, would it be the end, would he finally leave her alone in peace to her revenge on that barbarian creauture?

But because he didn’t enter, she didn’t hear a word of what he said.

Definitely didn’t hear such trite words, pointless words.

And didn’t cry at them.

Almost.

____

Savage. Barbarian.

“You know that if I was fighting seriously, you wouldn’t have a chance!”

Savage. What if he accidently harmed Sai? What then.

Oh, let him, why not. Let him. Then you’d just have one more reason for revenge.... isn’t that right? Just act shocked and innocent, an innocent poor, surprised girl, while savage boys are fighting over her ‘love’, just act that way, just let it fuel your revenge, who cares about

_Sai_

Who cares if he gets injured by _him,_ that _Coordinator,_ that _barbarian,_ someday, it would even be great, one more fuel for avenging--- it would be wonderful, just one more reason---

_Sai_

_Thank you for the Dollie! Those meanies putted her on the tree, and I couldn’t, but Sai, how you coulded, you never climbed before. Your... your hands. You... you scratched your hands with that tree!! Sai!!_

_It’s nothing, Flay, don’t—_

_Sai!!_

Almost.

__

Sai, huh? Just let him do whatever, because he’s too innocent to understand what _revenge_ even is, so she can’t let him get involved.

It’s not that she cares about him now, anymore, only about her father

_When everything exploded, and she didn’t understand, why she was still breathing_

Anyway.

Almost. ****


End file.
